


Ostrich Society

by IntelligentAirhead



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Post-Canon, implied sexual references, innuendos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:28:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntelligentAirhead/pseuds/IntelligentAirhead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hajime and Sonia have failed Nidai in every possible way that there is to fail a human being, they think. </p>
<p>They buried their heads in the sand, and now Nidai is marrying Souda Kazuichi, of all people.</p>
<p>(A Commission for soudanidaitrashcollective)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ostrich Society

**Author's Note:**

  * For [soudanidaitrashcollective](https://archiveofourown.org/users/soudanidaitrashcollective/gifts).



Hajime didn’t really know what he’d expected. It was hard to be prepared for anything after hearing “Souda,” “wedding reception,” and “Titty Typhoon” being used in the same sentence, so he’d decided not to think about it at all in the hopes that it would go away on its own.

He should have known better, honestly. That tactic was the main reason he was sitting where he was, downing a screwdriver while watching the horrific scene unfold before him.

Sonia echoed his sentiments. Her voice, still strong, if slurred, floated up from where she sat. “It’s our fault. We were too late, and it’s our fault.” She buried her face in her arms. “Nidai doesn’t deserve this.” She turned her head, peering up at Hajime thoughtfully from where she lay slumped on the table. “Do not interpret my words incorrectly—”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Hajime corrected.

“I am not getting you wrong,” Sonia said, her brow wrinkling. “I am elaborating.” She waved an authoritative hand. “We have all done terrible things, and we deserve the death penalty many times over. There can be no doubt of that.” She paused, seemingly for effect. “That being said, no one deserves this.”

All at once Sonia straightened, peering at something behind her. After a moment she whipped around, staring intensely at Hajime. “Do you think he’s doing this to punish himself? As some form of repentance?”

Hajime blinked very slowly, setting his drink down on the table with a clink. “Sonia, believe it or not, he seems…” he winced. “Happy. He seems happy to be married to Souda.”

“No one’s happy breathing the same air as Souda, Hinata,” Sonia said, her voice flat. She cringed at her own words in the next second. “Shit! Fuck, shit!”

Hajime looked at her in concern. “Are you okay? Losing time? Dissociating?”

Sonia clenched her hands into fists, shaking her head. It took a moment, but she was able to fix a small smile back in place. “No, I simply lost hold of my decorum, and thought that I was…” She trailed off.

Hajime nodded. They all had bad days. Sometimes he found himself staring into space, suddenly starving, and someone would tell him that he’d been staring at a wall for a good four hours, or he’d find himself unable to recall any language but Cantonese, and only Sonia would be able to interpret for him. Worst were the days when he could not recall essential things: his favourite colour; his favourite parts of the island; his name. No one liked their Bad Days.

After a moment, Sonia spoke again. “Do you really think Nidai’s happy like this?”

Hajime turned around, taking in the sight of Souda trying to convince Nidai to do the robot with him. Nidai was laughing, a full-bellied rich thing that shook his entire body.

“Sadly, yes. I think this is the happiest I’ve seen him all week.” He shook his head. “It’s terrifying, honestly. Just think: any one of us could have fallen prey to Souda’s seduction.”

“There is no way on earth that any of us would—”

“The Gundam Incident.”

Sonia frowned into her now drained glass. “There is not enough alcohol in this establishment for you to dare speak of that.”

“The point is, maybe we should accept Nidai’s sacrifice for the common good.”

Sonia stiffened, and Hajime winced. “Sorry. Bad phrasing.”

He scratched at the edge of the bar with the nail of his thumb. “What I meant was, Nidai seems happy. I mean, we’re shitty friends, and we completely failed at protecting him from having to live with Souda for the rest of his life, and five years from now he’ll probably try to swim to the mainland rather than spend another second with Souda because god knows that’s an urge that pops into my head whenever he opens his mouth, and, god, I need another drink.”

“I know! This is what I was talking about!” Sonia cradled her head in her hands. “We failed him.”

“Are you two fucking serious?” Fuyuhiko looked down at the both of them from the other side of the bar, hands planted on either side of his cocktail mixer. Even with both of them sitting down and Fuyuhiko standing, he was only barely taller than Hajime.

“Those two are probably in one of the most stable relationships in this shitheap right now, it keeps Souda from annoying the rest of us, and you’re _complaining_?” Fuyuhiko narrowed his left eye at them, frowning.

Hajime shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I don’t know, it just feels wrong to foist him off on Nidai, of all people.”

“Nidai is a big dude; he can take it.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Fuyuhiko’s face twisted into a sour expression. “I did not mean that the way it sounded.”

Hajime felt the blood drain from his face. “I didn’t really want to think about that image. Thanks, Fuyuhiko.”

Beside him, Sonia was making retching sounds.

Hajime couldn’t blame her. Souda had decided for whatever reason that Hajime needed explicit details regarding the progression of his relationship, and he had quickly learnt never to open photo attachments.

“Speaking of which, can I stay at your place tonight?” Fuyuhiko still looked flushed from his mistake. “I live right next to them and there is no fucking way they won’t be at it like a couple of—”

“You don’t need to explain,” Hajime rushed to cut him off. “Trust me, I get it.” He refrained from telling Fuyuhiko that the cabins were soundproof, and that he knew for a fact that Nidai and Souda had definitely ‘been at it’ before.

Fuyuhiko had somehow maintained his conviction that the only acceptable sexual acts were those that followed marriage. It was almost impressive.

His stance on alcohol seemed likewise unchanged, but seeing as every single person at the reception was of legal drinking age, Hajime was able to convince him to bartend.

“Can you get me another screwdriver so I can handle this conversation?”

“Scotch,” Sonia said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Straight up.”

Fuyuhiko looked between them, turning to peer closely at each one. “Nah. I’m cutting you two off for tonight. We all have enough problems without adding self-medicating to the mix.”

Hajime and Sonia groaned in tandem.

“Fuyuhiko! This reception’s going to last another three hours at the very least, and I can’t leave until the end. Have mercy on our souls,” Hajime pleaded.

Fuyuhiko stared down at him with what would have been an impassive expression if not for the amused glint in his eye. “Nah,” He said after a moment. “You’re the Best Man— you need to be sober in time for your speech. Well, you and Akane. Besides, we don’t have that much orange juice in the first place, and you’re not the only one who likes cocktails.” With that, he moved down the bar to where Akane was attacking the hors d'oeuvres with gusto.

Hajime slumped. “We’re doomed.”

Humming, Sonia nodded. “We are not as doomed as Nidai, however. That is something.”

“True.” Hajime rubbed at his face, pulling down at his skin. “What are we supposed to do for three hours?”

“Well, propriety mandates that we make small talk with the happy couple,” her face twisted, “reminisce fondly, watch them cut cake, dance, and engage in small talk with those around us once again.”

“Well, that’s a whole fifteen minutes accounted for,” Hajime said, slumping onto the bar.

Sonia frowned. “Hajime, proper greetings and pleasantries entail a greater degree of investment than you appear to grasp.” Her eyes lit up. “Besides, we have almost forgotten the highly anticipated scene wherein a champion will burst through the doors, seeking to woo Nidai away from Souda’s side, heartbroken that they could not object in the midst of the ceremony. Souda will exclaim that the other contender for Nidai’s heart had their chance, but it will come to light that Souda had forestalled their arrival. Scandalised, Nidai will—”

“Sonia, I really don’t think that will happen,” Hajime said, reaching out to pat her on the back, before withdrawing his hand at the last second. It was hard to remember which of his friends liked or did not like to be touched, and it was better to be safe. “Sorry.”

She deflated. “No, I suppose life does not always mimic art, does it.”

Hajime snorted, causing Sonia to bristle. “Hinata Hajime, you had better not be insinuating that fictional works that provide for both entertainment and societal enrichment are not works of art.”

“No, I’m insinuating that Nanami forced me to play the game you’re referencing too, and that does not even begin to count as art.”

Sonia crossed her arms on the bar table. “Fuck you, I liked it,” she mumbled.

Laughing, Hajime shook his head. “If that’s the best you can do, then it’s a good thing Fuyuhiko cut you off. I thought I’d be getting a lecture on the narrative hooks and complex moral quandaries by now.”

“Perhaps I simply don’t feel like sharing such profound wisdom with someone who obviously doesn’t appreciate it,” Sonia said, sniffing.

She stared at him for a long moment before her facade cracked and she began to laugh, and then they were laughing at each other.

“See,” Sonia said, after a while, “small talk can take time after all. We exhausted only one subject and it still exceeded your projected fifteen minutes.”

Hajime groaned. “You had to bring it up, didn’t you? Ah, god, I probably need to go talk to the happy couple.”

Sonia hummed. “Well, you are the Best Man. You will have to give an entire speech congratulating them at some point.” Suddenly, she straightened, and her face lit up. “Hinata! You had sex with Nidai at some point, correct?”

Hajime blinked at her. “Uh, yes? That was a really long time ago, though, Sonia.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Sonia said, waving her hand. “You can still do something! Go up to them and say you’re still in love with Nidai or some such nonsense; we can still save him from Souda.”

“Sonia, I’m still dating Fuy— Kuzuryuu. That hasn’t changed in the last five minutes, in case you were wondering.”

Sonia bit her lip. “Do you think Gundam would—”

“You aren’t thinking of seducing Souda, are you?” Hajime asked, horrified.

“No! God, no! Fucking hell, what the fuck, Hinata?” Sonia’s face was a picture of disgust. “You could not reach that degree of incorrectness if you were to lambaste a skong for using a salad fork in place of a dessert fork!”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what you were trying to get at!”

“Then you should have let me finish.” Sonia shuddered. “Oh, lord. Never Souda. Never ever Souda. I was thinking about Nidai.” She cocked her head. “I’m not sure how Nidai feels about polyamory, however, and I would have to ask Gundam if it was alright with him, and this is such short notice that it really wouldn’t be fair to either of them.” She shook her head. “No, I can’t see any way this could work.”

“Poor Nidai is stuck with Souda, then.” Hajime closed his eyes, tilting his face toward the lights above them.

In a moment, he heard the small thunk of a glass being set in front of him. He opened his eyes and looked down at the glass of water before him before looking up at the person who had set it down.

“You need to drink water. Alcohol dehydrates you,” Fuyuhiko said, pushing the glass closer to Hajime. “Remember to grab some food, too, okay?”

As Hajime nodded, Fuyuhiko set a second glass in front of Sonia. “And I better not catch either one of you complaining again about those two getting together. Hell, you’re practically the reason they got together, so it’s your own damn fault.”

“Which is why we’re trying to remedy our mistakes,” Sonia said. “Nidai doesn’t deserve to be punished for our wrongdoings.”

Fuyuhiko crossed his arms. “I have a better idea; let it go, and drink your fucking water.”

Hajime looked down into his glass before looking back up at Sonia. “He has a point.”

“You bet your ass I have a point.” Fuyuhiko shook his head. “Hell, what was it? A month before you two cottoned on to the fact that they were dating?”

“I knew they were dating before then,” Hajime objected. “I just figured they’d break up soon, and that, you know, in the mean time I’d have a break from Souda” Hajime winced at how that sounded. “I mean, Souda’s my friend, kind of, but he can be exhausting sometimes, and I just did not want to deal with him at the time.” That didn’t sound any better.

Luckily, everyone seemed to understand the sentiment.

Sonia sighed. “I try to ignore the fact that Souda exists the vast majority of the time.” She stared off into the distance. “Upon reflection, that’s probably a very flawed coping mechanism, but I think it has served me well up _until this_ ,” she waved a hand, seemingly indicating the entirety of the reception, “happened.”

Hajime hummed. “So, a basic timeline would work out to Souda babbling to me about how hot Nidai was as a robot, dating him to make you jealous, me not caring enough to stop him for a good month or so, you not realising they were dating until…” His brow wrinkled. “Sonia, when did you figure out they were dating?” He took another sip of water.

“December.”

Fuyuhiko started laughing in the same instant that Hajime began to choke on water. He stopped laughing for long enough to insure that Hajime didn’t need any help, and then started back up again.

Eyes watering, Hajime coughed and righted himself. “You didn’t know they were dating for five months?”

“It takes a lot to remind me that Souda exists.”

Fuyuhiko rolled his eye, smirking. “That, right there? Point made.” His eyes flicked to something behind Sonia, and his expression tightened. “Well, I’d stick around to gloat, but I just saw Mioda sign what looks like “fire” and “alcohol” to Sainoji. Wish me luck.” With that, Fuyuhiko was off.

Hajime looked after him thoughtfully. “I’m glad Mioda’s getting excited about things again.”

“If you two try to burn the library down again…” Sonia let the threat hang in the air.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, there.” Hajime smiled, watching Mioda defend herself, rapidly signing in the face of Fuyuhiko’s lecture. The physical therapy seemed to be helping with her movements; she was a lot faster to shape her responses nowadays.

Casting his gaze around the room, Hinata took a moment to absorb how far each of them had come. Something like this— a party where everyone had not only managed to attend, but appeared to be enjoying themselves— that had been unthinkable when they had first started out.  

“Nah. We’re not in danger of burning anything down, I don’t think.” Hajime smiled.

“You say that, but I see Souda coming this way, and immolation suddenly seems appealing.” Sonia hopped off of the stool next to Hajime and grabbed her glass. “Sorry, Hinata, but I am not going to put myself through that. Good luck.”

“Traitor,” Hajime mumbled. He looked behind him, and confirmed that Souda definitely had his eyes fixed on him. There was no escape.

Resigned to his fate, he looked down into his glass in suspicion, then took a tentative sip.

“Hinata! There you are! I’d been looking all over for you. I mean, when I wasn’t making out with Nekomaru.” Souda patted Hajime on the back, seating himself to Hajime’s left. “Anyway, I just wanted to tell you thanks for being there for us, even through all the pain.”

Hajime opened his mouth, then closed it.

“I mean, I know you wanted a piece of the Kazuichi action. Everyone wants a piece of the Kazuichi action. But you were there for me and Nekomaru anyway, and that really means a lot,” Souda nodded firmly. “And, like, Nekomaru has said he’s totally up for a threesome, so even though you missed the once in a lifetime chance to marry me, you can always have a preview of the full deal. Both Nekomaru and me at once. No one else can claim something that incredible.”

If Hajime didn’t already know what it felt like to die inside, he would have thought he felt his soul leaving his body in that moment. “Souda, we’re at your wedding reception.”

“That makes the invitation more official. If you want, I can call Nekomaru over and he can back me up. I mean, you’ve banged Nekomaru before, right? You know how good he is. I’m just offering a second chance with the addition of a slice of the Kazuichi experience.”

“Why does everyone know I had sex with Nidai? That was in the simulation. Half of you had to relearn each other’s _names_ ; how do you all somehow remember my sexual history?”

“If it helps, Akane doesn’t care.”

“Akane is asexual! Why would she care?”

Souda crossed his arms, grinning. “Well, you’re my Best Man, and Akane is Nekomaru’s Best Man, and that makes you like, Best Men in Law. So Akane has to approve of you, you know?”

“Souda, that makes absolutely no sense.” Hajime took another drink of his water and searched for the quickest way to end the conversation. “Just… You know what? Invitation acknowledged. Thank you for inviting me, Souda. If I ever have the urge to join you and Nidai, I’ll let you know.”

“Hell yeah! I’ll go tell Nekomaru.” Souda hopped off the barstool, then turned to Hajime. “Oh! Remember to thank me in your speech. I want everyone to know that Nekomaru and I are comfortable with each other.” He winked, and with that began to weave his way back to his new husband, leaving Hinata gaping after him.


End file.
